so i know my style isnt the best ever but u should have told me i was wearing two different shoes
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
