So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
soo... how was my night?
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
