it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
I told her my hands were paint brushes and her vagina was my canvas
If I don't have hickies that last till tuesday, I didn't do this weekend right
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
