Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
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