i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Um. That's my cat Laura. You put my cat in your mouth, and then you put my cat in your purse.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
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