He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Slut skills are useful in every country.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
