That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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