So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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