508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize
