Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize