does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
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