mustard is like jesus in yellow tights
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Randomize