he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
he fucked my hip out of place.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize