Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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