I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
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