dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
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You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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