found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
