This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Because her vagina is one of those illusive black holes that leads to a parallel universe where he is king and the sea is made of beer! That is why they are together!
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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