He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Randomize
