My nephew just came out playing with my moms vibrator.
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
either way he was missing a nipple.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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