Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
Randomize
