First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
This house was built for laser tag.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
