and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Randomize
