Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
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