my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
where are you?
Hypothermia
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Randomize
