we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Randomize
