I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
