so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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