Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
About to go out with the girl of my dreams tonight. I am looking at one of her hottest fb pics, to practice not looking at her huge tits.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
You peed in a public fountain and then felt bad so you put dish soap in it; 4 ft tall bubbles.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
