Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Sex in the backyard? Check.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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