U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
New invention idea: vibrating tampons
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
Damn victory sex feels great
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
