And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i need to un-sleep with a few of those brothers before we ever go back to that house again. i'm serious. i will not be a fraternity groupie.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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