She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Randomize
