How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
Dear Douchebag, I would just like to formally issue this fuck you. You will be receiving a letter in the mail soon. With all of your stuff.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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