i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never had a woman show me her venereal disease results in a bar before.
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I feel like we need to find him and explain that if the two of them would just fuck he'd understand.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
IT'S FUCKING BABY SEASON ON FACEBOOK. MY VAGINA WANTS TO THROW UP
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