Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im deleting that text because its a possible ncaa violation
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize