guys are only as good as the porn they watch
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
