i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Randomize
