The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
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