If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
Randomize
