Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
My pussy is not your playground.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Can you tell dad to stop liking and sharing porn on FB again?
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Randomize
