Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
