he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
