So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
Cause I came home. Im covered in green marker and jack daniels. Theres a taco and the words "we went to Mexico" on my wrist. Im a walking abomination.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
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