So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I woke up next to her this morning and couldn't remember her name. Luckily, she had written it on my hand so that I could add her on facebook.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
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