Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Not this time. I'm drinking in my sweatpants which means I've given up for the day and shouldn't be in public.
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
