and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
And he kept lifting up his shirt every few minutes to check if his nipples were still there
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
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