Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I'm drunk. And at a vegan cafe. You would hate it. Don't tell my hipster friend but I kinda hate it too.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
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