I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
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