We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
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