literally had 100 drinks last night.
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
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