scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
Oh and I guess I added our cab driver on Facebook. He has "liked" every single one of my beach pictures. Kill me now.
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
