I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
so let's talk penis.
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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