it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
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Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
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He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I'm still laying in bed cuz I don't feel like adulting yet
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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