If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
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